QuotesPost

I’ve been in two millenniums, 2 centuries, 3 decades, seen the first black president, the falling of the twin towers, Bin Laden killed, a royal wedding between a prince and a commoner, and the end of the world. I’m not even 15 yet.

Dear 4th graders on facebook,
How are you in a complicated relationship? What’d he do, steal your animal crackers?

The best childhood memories; 
jumping from couch to couch so you wouldn't hit the lava or shark, playing with barbies, dressing in your mom's clothes and wearing her makeup, going to work with daddy, singing to the wiggles and hannah montana, picture books, rugrats & the amanda show, putting on plays with your stuffed animals, imaginary friends, a best friend named " Teddy ", " Do you like him or LIKE LIKE him?" , coloring outside the lines in your coloring books, feeling badass after you jumped off a swing & landed, " This is bob, bob says hi, this is bob when a CAR goes by!" , "ZAP", " Your mom is here" "HIDE", jump rope sayings, recess, webkinz, crocks, polly pockets, one piece bathing suits, plastic jewlrey, full house, american girl dolls, playing house, sitting on & pictures with santa and the easter bunny, money for your teeth, taking new toys into school & feeling proud, show n' tell, COOKIE monster, duck duck goose, drawing the sun in the corner w/ a smiley and lollipop looking trees, bedtime stories, " little sally walker", " miss mary mac", " MWAAAHH HAAA", running to the swings right when you got to the park, " underdogging" on the swing, getting picked up to reach stuff, piggyback rides, chasing boys around the playground, listening to cds not ipods, fake phones, sticking your tongue out - NOT your middle finger, cooties, swimming with floaties, having your food cut up for you, carebears, hungry hungry hippos, sidewalk chalk, baths, playdates, nap time, snack time @ school, waking up early for christmas, ...

Take mentos and freeze.them into icecubes.
Then give your friend a diet coke and put the icecubes with mentos into their drink.
After five minutes, their drink will randomly explode.

You kids are 11 and you have cellphones already? Who do you talk to? Sponge bob??